You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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