I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
