entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
