All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I will die if light touches me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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