You really coming over, don't trick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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