we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
