I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
