I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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