so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
