I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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