My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
