I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
