Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
