when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
