I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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