All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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