Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
