She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
