I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My dick has a subreddit
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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