break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
