she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
