omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
