Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
