He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
