I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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