Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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