I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
