I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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