Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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