I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
