Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You pole danced in your parka.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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