YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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