at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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