is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
