he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We named our party play list daddy issues
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
