I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
