If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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