Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
