Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
