i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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