You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
