i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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