i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
