In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
