How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
