Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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