she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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