I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i already hear my dad disowning me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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