Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
