I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
