well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
