One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
