I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
